Sunday, July 11, 2004
So Chris comes home an the basement is flooded. He's kinda upset.
"What happened?" he says.
"The washin machine broke Chris," says Giblets.
"It's true," says me. "The washin machine is a very broken machine."
"But don't worry," says Giblets. "We recognized the gravity of the situation, formed an investigatory committee, an came up with a report on the failure of the washin machine."
Chris opens up the washin machine while the plumber drains the basement. The marbles start all spillin out.
"This thing's filled with marbles!" he says. "Did you guys try to wash a full load of marbles here?!"
"Okay, see Chris, this is why we wrote the report," says me holdin up the report.
"Yeah Chris," says Giblets. "The report lays things out in a much more even-handed fashion."
"We didn't approach the question of whether marbles were put into machines," says me, "although we concede there may have existed a highly marble-putting-into-ey environment."
Chris starts gettin madder an goes on about "look I just wanna know who broke my washin machine blah blah" which is not resolvin the larger issue of universal washin machine failure.
"Chris what we are dealin with here is a structural problem," says me.
"Yeah," says Giblets. "The washin machine proves susceptible to 'groupbreak,' which is like breaking, but in a group."
"It doesnt hold up to the tough pressures of the modern washin environment," says me.
"Like for example a load of marbles," says Giblets.
"It's really a very tricky situation an I for one am very glad we figured this out," says me.
Chris is kinda holdin his head a little and does not look that happy so we get to the solution in the hopes that'll cheer him up.
"Our conclusion at the end of the report is to buy a new washin machine," says me.
"Preferably one that can wash a ton of marbles," says Giblets.
Chris starts makin funny noises. I pat him reassuringly on the head an the plumber picks some marbles out of the drain.
posted by fafnir at 5:36 PM