Wednesday, June 23, 2004

Giblets has been reading Bill Clinton's book My Life and he has to say it is not only a boring disappointment, it is an evasive, immoral, boring disappointment which has forever tarnished the integrity of the Office of Book.

There are 927 pages in this thing and most of it is all kinds of blithering on Bill Clinton's various policy initiatives. Well y'know, if Giblets wanted to read about what it takes to actually run a country, Giblets would buy a book about that, or "engage in informed policy debates" or "pay attention to the news" or "vote."

That is not why Giblets bought Bill Clinton's book. He bought Clinton's book for stories about hot throbbin' presidential cocks and steamy illicit sex. He bought it for raunchy cigar stories and oh-so-priceless bits of marital strife and wet, raw, president-on-intern action! And for the perjury. Yes let us always remember it was the perjury that was most important. Ahem.

But there is like one paragraph tops in here! And in it Clinton apologizes to me, Giblets, for nothing! Well, I put down my $35 for Clinton groveling and Giblets demands a presidential apology! Something along the lines of:
And it was then that I, Bill Clinton, realized how very wrong I had been about absolutely everything. To this day I am wracked with soul-crippling guilt, not just for betraying my wife and family, but for betraying my country to liberalism, for being elected - twice! - and maintaining peace and prosperity under a Democratic administration. I apologize for being a successful, charismatic Democratic president, a scourge I have dealt to history and a sin I pray God will one day forgive.
Now that would have been a book. As it is, Bill Clinton has gotten me to buy a long-winded blithering biography about what he did when he was president. You deceived Giblets again. For shame, Clinton. For shame.
posted by Giblets at 3:42 PM



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