Wednesday, June 16, 2004

At the Gadflyer they have had this article about the Reverend Sun Myung Moon gettin crowned the messiah by a buncha congressmen in a Senate office building last March (Wonkette points out that story is just a "story from March!" Which is true, why we talking about it anymore? Also whats up with us talkin about this whole "deceived into invading Iraq" business? That happened last year! Sheesh!). It sounds kinda scary because after all how many people get crowned the messiah on Capitol Hill these days other than say Jesus or his new cyborg equivalent CyberJesus? But as it turns out the crownin thing is just the beginning. Mr Moon also owns a number of respected media outlets including a newspaper, a wire service, and whatever the World Tribune is and he donates millions of dollars to conservative organizations.

But is he really crazy? The follwing excerpt is from a phone interview with the Rev. Moon:

ME: So I understand you made a lot of your fortune through the US fishing industry Rev Moon.
REV. MOON: HA HA HA! It is no longer merely a fishing INDUSTRY! I have now dubbed it the Worldwide Unity Church of Fish, and through it I have married each and every fish in America!
ME: Wow that is impressive!
REV. MOON: Fish will no longer debase themselves in gross extramarital usage of the fish love organ! So declares Moon, Guardian Messiah-King of the Fish!
ME: Guardian-King of the Fish?
REV. MOON: Yes indeed! I was annointed such when I ascended bodily into Icthyon, the 19th realm of Heaven, and knighted by JaBudah, the Jesus-Buddah hybrid and holy avatar of the Fish Genome!
ME: Oh wow! Not THE JaBudah?

So as you can see the Rev. Moon actually has a very impressive list of credentials an endorsements! But unfortunately that doesn't mean he's not crazy. In addition to being a fish-and-marriage afficionado the reverend is also very big on eliminating gays and says the Holocaust was justified as punishment for killing the "first True Parent," who Giblets tells me was Shemp. He also wants to abolish the separation of church and state and turn government into an ultraconservative theocracy where only members of his religion are allowed to rule. And he actually has influence and power, too! Can you believe it?

Here are some of his scarier quotes:

"The feminist agenda is not about equal rights for women. It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism, and become lesbians."

"I think 'one man, one vote,' just unrestricted democracy, would not be wise. There needs to be some kind of protection for the minority which the white people represent now, a minority, and they need and have a right to demand a protection of their rights."

"There is no such thing as separation of church and state in the Constitution. It is a lie of the Left and we are not going to take it anymore."

"If anybody understood what Hindus really believe, there would be no doubt that they have no business administering government policies in a country that favors freedom and equality."

"The Jews are returning to their land of unbelief. They are spiritually blind and desperately in need of their Messiah and Savior."

"I hope I live to see the day when, as in the early days of our country, we won't have any public schools. The churches will have taken them over again and Christians will be running them. What a happy day that will be!"

"I don't know that atheists should be considered citizens, nor should they be considered patriots. This is one nation under God."

"I want you to just let a wave of intolerance wash over you. I want you to let a wave of hatred wash over you. Yes, hate is good... Our goal is a Christian nation. We have a Biblical duty, we are called by God, to conquer this country. We don't want equal time. We don't want pluralism."

Whew! That is pretty awful scary stuff. All I can say is it is a good thing he is just one guy and not a symptom of a much bigger nastier movement determined to take over a large mainstream religion and influence our entire government.
posted by fafnir at 5:45 PM



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