Wednesday, April 14, 2004

Well I have to say I am mighty embarrassed-looking right now. After all my doubts and things about Iraq and the war against terror and even the President himself I realized just how plain silly all that was at last night's Presidential press conference (or "presser" as we call it in the "industry"). Ladies and readers I am pleased to present you with key points from last nights conference and the knowledge that our resolve is strong!

On Iraq:
  • All this violence stuff in Iraq is no big deal. The media makes such a big deal of everything! What is wrong with you media!
  • We will overcome this violence because our resolve is strong.
  • The President has a plan! It is a good plan and we will get it done with our resolve which is strong.
  • Also with our love of freedom. Do you love freedom? Discussion question: what's the best thing you love about freedom?

    On the 9/11 Commission:
  • There was nothing we could have done to prevent 9/11 but the President did everything in his power to prevent it from happening despite the fact that yknow there was nothing he could have done to prevent it.
  • The only one responsible for 9/11 is the terrorists who will be found and brought to justice. Justice's resolve is strong.
  • The President is appearing together with Dick Cheney just because they were both asked to talk to the 9/11 Commission so why not show up together? The President wishes everybody could have given testimony to the Commission together it'd be like a big party! He'd bring the soda and chips! The President's chips are strong.

    On our resolve:
  • It is strong.
  • Also it is resolute and firm. It is so firm! You have no idea how firm our resolve is. Whew! It's pretty firm I'll tell you that.
  • In addition to resolve we have resoluteness and strength. These are also very strong and resolute.
  • Also, freedom is beautiful. Look at those mountains! Smell that ocean air!

    On the hideous bug invaders:
  • Reports regarding the hideous bug invaders have been greatly exaggerated and their laying of eggs in soldiers' brains is in no way to be perceived as a setback in the war against terror. Our resolve is so strong!
  • They have laid their eggs in far fewer soldiers' brains than the media is reporting. Man media there is something wrong with you!
  • Why from the looks of things on CNN you'd think theyd insectofied three whole platoons of soldiers by now which is crazy talk! Ha ha! Crazy talk, our resolve is strong!
  • posted by fafnir at 1:11 PM



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