Thursday, January 15, 2004

I know have not been blogging much over the last couple days my friends but I have the BEST EXCUSE EVER - I have GLOFISH NOW! Yes it is all true! I have the world's first genetically modified pet right here in my very house, hooray!, and I have been starin at them for a good long while. For several days. I was sposed to interview some ol Democratic candidate for President but I blew him off for my glofish:

FAFNIR: Look at my glofish glow!
SEN. JOHN KERRY (on phone): Can we talk about Iowa?
FAFNIR: Go away old man I am talking glofish here!
SEN. JOHN KERRY: Um... the latest Zogby polls look really good for me...
FAFNIR: John Kerry you clearly do not get these glofish do you! They are fish that glow! Go away you are nothing compared to the amazing miracle of science that is glofish! Away with you!
(throwing phone across room, where it explodes, in a fireball)

These fish are so amazing it boggles the mind. We have five of them. I have named them Inky, Blinky, Pinky, Clyde, and W. V. O. Quine. Every minute to perceive them is another blissful explosion of color and sensation. I will say hands down they are the most wondrous thing in the world I have ever seen. Far more wondrous than God. Which isn't that hard to do, considering God is in fact one of the most boring and dull people I have met. Lookit him. Sittin there, pickin' lint off his jacket. "Nyyeeeeeeh," says God. "I don't like lint." God why couldn't you be cool? I am so not jazzed about worshipin you for eternity.

But we must always remember that not everyone shares the good fortune that we do in the free lands of America. In the distant land of California, glofish are banned by an oppressive tyrant. Only you can help restore the freedom of this enslaved country. Restore it with glofish.
posted by fafnir at 10:25 AM



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