Saturday, October 4, 2003

I, Fafnir, have become a target of partisan attack.

Yes I know it seems strange and bizarre to all of you who right now are screaming "Who would dare do such a thing Fafnir! You who are of course beloved by billions" and you are right to be surprised because I too was surprised. But my position as the new special prosecutor appointed by John Ashcroft Attorney General of the United States has drawn harsh partisan criticism and mudslinging. If only John Ashcroft were here to back me up - ! but Giblets took him out for ice cream.

Today the Drudge Report claims to have found nude photos of me which they have posted now on the internet. I am as astonished as you are to discover that I posed naked for photographers thirty years ago - I don't even remember bein that old. I am also surprisingly buff in these pictures. Look at those lats you can tell I work out a lot.

This has prompted a big response in Washington, with Serious Journalists like Fred "The Beatle" Barnes, who said today on "The Capital Gang," "Someone who posed naked in lurid gay photos for the Drudge Report is completely unfit for being the special prosecutor in a scandal as serious as this, and let me add that this isn't at all a serious scandal and we should all get back to our shiny objects."

The Beatle is right, in that I have disgraced myself and my office. What could I have been thinking? I apparently have forgotten. How strange. He is also right about shiny objects but that is a mtter for another time. Giblets has just run in to tell me that John Ashcroft has eaten way too much ice cream and got sick so we have to take him to the doctor. Plus he has one of those headaches. Oh John Ashcroft! I told you to eat slow!
posted by fafnir at 8:15 PM



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