This is a good blog. This is the best blog. It is about god and the universe and those horrible screaming monkeys and the time I made a pizza out of an old tire and a can of whip cream. This is the Fafblog.
Monday, November 2, 2009
somewhere along the way the caper went awry
Well the bridge is out and the road is closed and the cops're after us and the feds're after the cops and the bagman got run over by the driver and the driver got eaten by the bear and nobody's sure who put the bear in charge anyway, you never put the bear in charge, it has terrible interpersonal skills, and the case in the back a the trunk a the car containing the canvas of Ernst's L'Ange du Foyer has been accidentally replaced with an eighty-five-hundred pound bull rhinoceros enraged by our continuing encroachment upon its natural habitat and I thought we were goin to a pub quiz tonight but I guess the plans kinda changed and it'd probably be rude to bring it up at this point but I'm not real sure how I got here in the first place, and when you think about it you really have to go all the way back to school, and mom thought I should be a doctor and dad thought I should be an industrial wood lathe and I wanted to be the Cenozoic Era and we tried to work out a compromise but lookin back it was really the kinda situation where nobody was gonna end up really satisfied in the end and they say you should never look back but it's hard not to when you're bein chased by a rhinoceros and I'm sure there's a valuable life lesson here somewhere but I think it got eaten by the bear, and when this is over and the fire's put out and the cops're asleep in their cave under the sea we'll always have tomorrow, or the day after the day after the day after that.
yay! fafblog!
ReplyDeletewe'll always have tomorrow, or the day after the day after the day after that.
ReplyDeleteRight up until 2012, apparently. Damn Mayans.
And crucially, we'll have Tuesday - because this shit ALWAYS happens on Monday, right?
ReplyDeleteThis fafblog reminds me of a Sarah Palin speech. You're never sure where it's going, and you're not even quite sure where it's just been.
ReplyDeleteThoreau
ReplyDeleteI sense a disturbance.
ReplyDeletemom thought I should be a doctor and dad thought I should be an industrial wood lathe and I wanted to be the Cenozoic Era and we tried to work out a compromise
ReplyDeleteAnd now we understand how Fafnir became a blogger. It's like, the next in the series.
Have you thought of publishing/posting something in a longer format or genre, maybe a novelette or novel? Not kidding -- this is great stuff.
ReplyDeleteand that, kids, is how we finally won our hard fought battle for mandatory, for-profit, private health insurance.
ReplyDeleteWell
ReplyDeletethe bridge is out
and
the road is closed
and
the cops're after us
and
the feds're after the cops
and
the bagman got run over
by the driver and the driver got eaten
by the bear and nobody's sure
who put the bear in charge anyway,
you never put the bear in charge, it has terrible interpersonal skills,
and the case in the back
a the trunk
a the car containing
the canvas of Ernst's L'Ange du Foyer
has been accidentally replaced with
an eighty-five-hundred pound bull rhinoceros
enraged by our continuing encroachment upon
its natural habitat
and I thought
we were goin to a pub quiz tonight but
I guess the plans
kinda changed
and it's probably be rude to bring it up at this point
but I'm not real sure how I got here in the first place,
and when you think about it
you really have
to go all the way back to school,
and mom
thought I should be a doctor
and dad
thought I should be an industrial wood lathe
and I
wanted to be the Cenozoic Era
and we
tried to work out a compromise
but lookin back it was really
the kinda situation where nobody was gonna end up really satisfied in the end
and
they say you should never look back
but it's hard not to when you're bein chased by a rhinoceros
and
I'm sure there's a valuable life lesson here somewhere but I think it got eaten by the bear,
and
when this is over
and
the fire's put out
and
the cops're asleep in their cave under the sea
we'll always have tomorrow, or the day after the day after the day after that.
idea for an doctoral thesis in English: diagram the sentence in the OP.
ReplyDeleteToo bad Roy Orbison is dead, he coulda sang the hell out of that.
ReplyDeleteMontag: DAMN! too bad I'm already well into an English dissertation on another topic. Because diagramming the sentence would really have knocked the socks off university hiring committees around the world.
ReplyDeleteoh fafblog, how do i love thee? and why, WHY, do you go away for so long and then come back, bearing small gifts that somehow still manage to pacify me and make me believe you really love me, even though you probably have another family somewhere else?
To kittens no kids: be kind to Mr. Fafblog (dare I call him fafnir?). One must let genius develop at its own pace. Since he obviously has genius, we must let him develop independently.
ReplyDeleteSheer poetry. Thank you. :)
ReplyDeleteAt least someone is carrying the Dadaist torch for the illusions which underlie our world today are more stark perhaps than those of post WWI Europe.
ReplyDeleteHopefully, thankfully, the Gestapo won't come after you when their time comes like they did old Ernst because, sadly in a way perhaps, they don't even have the imagination of the originals. Although they do have our IP addresses.
"You have made us for Yourself oh Lord, and our hearts are restless until they find their rest in You."
ReplyDeleteWhen you write it out in verses like that it looks almost exactly like a Tom Waits song.
ReplyDeleteNB. This comment may, or may not, have been influenced by the fact I'm listening to Waits at the moment.
Screw Godot. I'll wait for Fafnir. (I don't mind. Really...)
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of life plans gone astray did you hear the one about the bookish introverted puritanical American-born Muslim who became an Army psychiatrist at Walter Reed Army Medical Center and listened to tale after tale of the horrors of war in Islamic lands and wanted to get out of the service but his superior officers decided to order him to go to the war zone instead and he ended up bringing the war zone to Texas in a series of unfortunate events?
ReplyDeleteOh, fafnir. So great.
ReplyDeletehaha, that's nice experience. i like that. where is that place?
ReplyDelete