This is a good blog. This is the best blog. It is about god and the universe and those horrible screaming monkeys and the time I made a pizza out of an old tire and a can of whip cream. This is the Fafblog.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
not dead yet
What happened here? We step out for just half a year or so, and all of you turn into Chinese spam? So sad.
Some of us are not Chinese spam. Some of us are American spam, waiting on a Spam 'n Egg sandwich in the McDonalds in Laie, Hawaii. Waiting, waiting, waiting.....
Luckily spam has an exceptionally long shelf life.
Sometimes, only chinese spam can provide us with the political commentary and blogology we need. In the absence of the Faf/Gib/Lob triumverate, we have to get our fix where we can...
At long last, a sign that there is still life on Planet Faf!
Or, perhaps, you plan to keep posting two-liners showing that you're still alive to keep us all checking the site...crafty...to prove to me this isn't your dastardly plan I demand a Friday Pie-Blog.
You might think it's spam but that's because you don't read Chinese. If you did you would realize that you have been obsoleted, just like the rest of America. Blogs about pies are as obsolete as V8 Oldsmobile's so bow down to our new Chinese blog masters whose posts embody all the art and wisdom of 5000 years of culture not the post post pseudo reverse hip apocalyptic screams of a dying breed.
That's funny - we've been getting Russian spam. Which either puts us on the bleeding edge of spam-victimhood, or you on the bleeding edge and us in a so-2008 backwater.
Russia and China are the spam superpowers (spampowers?), but I prefer the tasty Szechwan-style spam myself. Spicy!
But seriously, Fafblog, it was the Chinese spam flu virus that took over while you were away and is now at pandemic levels -- that's why we all turned into Chinese spam. It's just too easily transmitted.
And now we've got people ironically imitating Chinese spam. Is it like Warhol's soup cans and it is a cunning exhibition of post-ironist moderny, or is it just them being jerks?
Thank the flying spaghetti monster that you were just resting. I was beginning to get desperate. Just when I was about to take the plunge off the balcony, I recieved the message in a cosmic aura "Fafblog arose from the dead!" Halleluia, Alhamdillula!!!!
Oh sure. You think you can just waltz in here and wave your hands and make it all better, don't you? Dang you Fafblog! Thanks to your neglect I now have 60 kilos of powdered rhinocerous horn. It does not make good cookies! Or pie!
Giblets, honey, I'm worried about all these Chinamen taking over your blog! Think of all the hate there is in Red China. Lordy, I just have to pull the covers up over my head when I think about that.
I want to be Hungarian spam. It would undoubtedly be made with paprika, which is highly nutritious and tastes great. It might even triumph over the taste of the spam itself, thus keeping humanity from committing suicide and saving the world from the next attempted invasion of giant zombie beetles.
o/~ I'm writ-in' thru the faf-blog on a post with no name... It felt good to be out of the rain... In the faf-blog, you can re-mem-ber your... um, your... lyrics? no... er,
A priest, a rabbi, and a Buddhist monk walk into a bar, sit at the end and start having some drinks. Two hours later, they come out with a better understanding of each other and a mutual respect, the beginnings of a friendship that last a lifetime.
T-Bills! Chinese spam is made out of T-Bills! (This works better if you do your Charlton Heston impression.)
ReplyDeleteOnce the dollar collapses, everything will be priced in Chinese SPAM, especially the 7 oz. size SPAM.
ReplyDeleteSome of us are not Chinese spam. Some of us are American spam, waiting on a Spam 'n Egg sandwich in the McDonalds in Laie, Hawaii. Waiting, waiting, waiting.....
ReplyDeleteLuckily spam has an exceptionally long shelf life.
i'll have the spam, spam, spam, spam, eggs, chinese spam and spam.
ReplyDeleteSometimes, only chinese spam can provide us with the political commentary and blogology we need. In the absence of the Faf/Gib/Lob triumverate, we have to get our fix where we can...
ReplyDeleteOn the one hand, I've missed Fafblog. On the other hand, I've gotten some great deals on giant decorative paper fans and fiber-optic art.
ReplyDeleteI don't like being Chinese spa. HELP!
ReplyDeleteTwitter/ SMS/internet-free Chinese spam served at the Tiananmen Square anniversary celebration.
ReplyDeletePlease, sir, may I have more?
Chinese spam is once again imprisoned! The island of Faf is returning to its former glory! The birds are singing!
ReplyDeleteAs it is written, you, Fafnir, are the hero of blogging!
At long last, a sign that there is still life on Planet Faf!
ReplyDeleteOr, perhaps, you plan to keep posting two-liners showing that you're still alive to keep us all checking the site...crafty...to prove to me this isn't your dastardly plan I demand a Friday Pie-Blog.
You guys are brilliant. You post, and I'll read.
ReplyDeleteMmmmm, pie.
ReplyDeletespam pie is my favorite.
ReplyDeleteCome on, Dick Cheney has been conspicuous lately -- surely that's enough to inspire the Medium Lobster?
ReplyDeleteHungry!
ReplyDeletePie good!
Even spam OK!
You might think it's spam but that's because you don't read Chinese. If you did you would realize that you have been obsoleted, just like the rest of America. Blogs about pies are as obsolete as V8 Oldsmobile's so bow down to our new Chinese blog masters whose posts embody all the art and wisdom of 5000 years of culture not the post post pseudo reverse hip apocalyptic screams of a dying breed.
ReplyDeleteTomato juice, orange juice, no Chinese spam.
ReplyDeletevachon
Oh no, you're not getting rid of us that easily.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the note - I was afraid you'd been driven to silence by despair. It's easy enough these days.
ReplyDeleteYou had me worried for a while. Please don't go away!
ReplyDeleteHmm.
ReplyDeleteI'd like the lobster thermidor aux crevettes with a mornay sauce, garnished with truffled paté, brandy, and a fried egg on top, and Spam.
[ Not too big a lobster, please -- a medium lobster will be just right. Thanks. ]
Yes, a pulse. I am definitely detecting a pulse. Now if only there were some other signs of life...
ReplyDeleteI'm not falling for it.
ReplyDeleteThat's funny - we've been getting Russian spam. Which either puts us on the bleeding edge of spam-victimhood, or you on the bleeding edge and us in a so-2008 backwater.
ReplyDeleteSo you saying you is *not* satisfied with results of powdered giant tiger penis?!?
ReplyDeleteProbably you is in market for powdered ELEPHANT penis!
Very good prices! Republicans impotent and ease to catch now!
I was going to congratulate you on getting rid of the spam, but then...
ReplyDeletespam fail. or spam win. depends.
I tried turning Japanese once but then the 80's ended and I felt uncool.
ReplyDeleteThat's it, China is fired!
ReplyDeleteAnd it's a good thing too.
ReplyDeleteThey made good wholesome American spamming unprofitable.
But do not grieve for China.
ReplyDeleteIt is getting $750bn in unemployment benefits, courtesy of its friends in the U.S. Taxpayer Department.
--Capt. Twelve A.M. Midnight, E.S.T., C.E.
Russia and China are the spam superpowers (spampowers?), but I prefer the tasty Szechwan-style spam myself. Spicy!
ReplyDeleteBut seriously, Fafblog, it was the Chinese spam flu virus that took over while you were away and is now at pandemic levels -- that's why we all turned into Chinese spam. It's just too easily transmitted.
Yaaaaay!!! I knew I didn't delete this from my blog list for a reason ... or perhaps I've just been too lazy over the past 6 months.
ReplyDeleteAnd now we've got people ironically imitating Chinese spam. Is it like Warhol's soup cans and it is a cunning exhibition of post-ironist moderny, or is it just them being jerks?
ReplyDeleteGiblets is taking no chances. Andy Warhol is also fired!
ReplyDeleteThank the flying spaghetti monster that you were just resting. I was beginning to get desperate. Just when I was about to take the plunge off the balcony, I recieved the message in a cosmic aura "Fafblog arose from the dead!"
ReplyDeleteHalleluia, Alhamdillula!!!!
Oh sure. You think you can just waltz in here and wave your hands and make it all better, don't you? Dang you Fafblog! Thanks to your neglect I now have 60 kilos of powdered rhinocerous horn. It does not make good cookies! Or pie!
ReplyDeleteI'm not Chinese Spam, I'm Westphalian Ham!
ReplyDeleteGiblets, sugarpie! You been cheatin on you li'l lovin' momma while you was away? Don't you lie to me now, boy. Come here, gimme some sugar.
ReplyDeleteKung Pao Spam? Spam and snow pea pods? Spam and black fungus with oyster sauce?
ReplyDelete>ironically imitating Chinese spam
ReplyDeletewell, the deleted comment said "We aren't spam" (我们不是垃圾电邮) but perhaps it was a little too obnoxiously self-referential?
MarkC, i'm sure the moderators didn't mean anything by it. you know what chinese spams are like, they all look the same to us americans.
ReplyDeletehilarious! my word verification is "vagna." that's only one letter off from 'magna.' as in magna carta. lol.
Giblets, honey, I'm worried about all these Chinamen taking over your blog! Think of all the hate there is in Red China. Lordy, I just have to pull the covers up over my head when I think about that.
ReplyDeleteI want to be Hungarian spam. It would undoubtedly be made with paprika, which is highly nutritious and tastes great. It might even triumph over the taste of the spam itself, thus keeping humanity from committing suicide and saving the world from the next attempted invasion of giant zombie beetles.
ReplyDeleteWhat Anaonymous (June 11 at 1:58 PM) said.
ReplyDeleteAnd it's a good thing too.
ReplyDeleteThey made good wholesome American spamming unprofitable.
o/~
ReplyDeleteI'm writ-in' thru the faf-blog on a post with no name...
It felt good to be out of the rain...
In the faf-blog, you can re-mem-ber your... um, your... lyrics? no... er,
BRB.
Is someone waiting for the Fourth of July fireworks to kick in?
ReplyDeleteAre all them Chinamen still here? I sure could use a piece of lemon chiffon pie.
ReplyDeleteHooray for fafblog!
ReplyDeleteDon't leave us again, all alone in this vast, uncaring, pie-free world.
Please come back. We miss you. And pie. But mostly pie.
ReplyDeleteOr peach pie. A piece of peach pie'd be pretty good too.
ReplyDeleteA priest, a rabbi, and a Buddhist monk walk into a bar, sit at the end and start having some drinks. Two hours later, they come out with a better understanding of each other and a mutual respect, the beginnings of a friendship that last a lifetime.
ReplyDeleteGeez, you get a gig for the Guardian and you leave us alone for months at a time. Really now, ask yourself:
ReplyDeleteWWGD (what would Giblets do?)
Oh. Right. Nevermind.
Braaaaaaaiiiins!
ReplyDeleteI'm just glad to see that there's a blog that comes out less regularly than mine.
ReplyDeleteThank you for minifafblogging leverett's piece. Such a relief that somewhere amid the fired Chinese Warhols there is yet the ember of sanity.
ReplyDeleteThis whole mess is about as depressing as a world with absolutely no pie.
I wasn't going to fall for it again, but the captcha was "ulection" and so how could I resist?
Help! I'm trapped in a botnet.
ReplyDeleteChinee spam is reality buddy get used to it.
ReplyDeleteWhy has the Medium Lobster not commented on Iran yet?
ReplyDeleteAnd on the 319th day He said 'let there be Faf', and there was.
ReplyDeleteAnd the multitudes did cometh to the Faf, and did venerate both the Medium Lobster and the Giblets yea highly.
And all was rejoicing in the world.
And verily, the word that was offered up for verification was indeed paria, which someth understand to be an outcast among the dyslexics.
I like spam shaped like prawns, in garlic sauce. With a little umbrella stuck in it.
ReplyDelete