Monday, April 18, 2005

Everything old is new again! The world is crisp with a bright glossy sheen. Garbage is shiny and beautiful. Dirt is so clean and fresh people bathe in it. Glossy stuff shines with the intensity of the sun and blinds everybody on sight; all lamination is banned. Smell that smell on the breeze? It is not the smell of spring or the smell of fresh-baked bread. It is new world smell.

Bein new also means bein different! People do not walk down the street anymore. They swim instead, which is less efficient but definitely new. Cars are replaced with a series of convenient personal cannons that fire commuters between home and the workplace. The sun comes in six fun colors. Colors come in eight delicious flavors! Flavors are hundreds of short stock video clips of rocket ships and running children and grazing elk. Trees are no longer made of tree. Now they are made of crocodiles! People stop to admire the scaly foliage and are eaten by big toothy shrubs.

The president appears at a press conference as an eight-month old child. He strongly defends his fiscal policy an throws a bowl a mashed corn at the Associated Press. The Supreme Court announces that precedent is stuffy and old. From now on they will write from their hearts! Their decision in McGinnis v. United Cornbread is a collection of relatively well-received free-verse poetry. All wars end on accounta the old wars were old and boring. Everybody switches sides and gets into new wars with new people! France invades Sweden. Switzerland conquers the Martians! War is still hell, but now it is a refreshing and invigorating hell!

At the end of the day everyone forgets everything that has come before. That day is old, it is gone, it is done with. Tomorrow the world will be new again.


posted by fafnir at 7:11 AM



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