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Saturday, November 14, 2009
Khalid Sheikh Mohammed and four of his friends are going to stand trial! It's taken about six and a half years for this to happen, during which they were all presumably kept waiting in the parlor of a sumptuous mansion along with the Colonel, the Countess, the jewel thief, the butler and the maid while a brilliant but eccentric sleuth attempted to discern the identity of the true culprit through the use of the deductive method, the thorough examination of evidence, and simulated drowning.
Everybody else has to stay in Special Torture Jail forever on accounta they have all come down with Schrodinger's Guilt. If they stay in the box they might be guilty, but if we open the box they might not be. Labels: securitainment, shmorture, warnography
posted by fafnir at 9:54 AM
Friday, November 13, 2009
Had Nidal Malik Hasan been launched from a remotely-piloted Predator drone into a Pakistani funeral procession, it would have been a bold victory in the War on Terror; had the major been dropped onto a village in Waziristan or fired into an Afghan wedding party, it would have represented an efficient and effective display of tactical military superiority; had he exploded in a shower of cluster bomblets over a Gaza refugee camp or been dispersed in a cloud of corrosive gas through an Iraqi city, we could all celebrate this triumph of American technical ingenuity over the forces of barbarism. Instead, Major Hasan will be tragically remembered as a piece of prematurely detonated ordnance, accidentally claiming the lives of people rather than those of numbers.
Modern metaphysics teaches us that the human soul, curiously enough, exists only within the arbitrarily-defined borders of certain political entities. South of the 49th parallel, north of the Rio Grande, west of the Urals, north of the Mediterranean - these, we can be sure, are the domains of real people, capable of self-awareness and the perception of pain. The hordes beyond, however - science tells us nothing of them, and that's probably for the best. Thousands of Afghans have been killed to date, and thousands more may be killed before we tire of killing them. But who's counting? Labels: warnography
posted by the Medium Lobster at 8:34 AM
Monday, November 2, 2009
Well the bridge is out and the road is closed and the cops're after us and the feds're after the cops and the bagman got run over by the driver and the driver got eaten by the bear and nobody's sure who put the bear in charge anyway, you never put the bear in charge, it has terrible interpersonal skills, and the case in the back a the trunk a the car containing the canvas of Ernst's L'Ange du Foyer has been accidentally replaced with an eighty-five-hundred pound bull rhinoceros enraged by our continuing encroachment upon its natural habitat and I thought we were goin to a pub quiz tonight but I guess the plans kinda changed and it'd probably be rude to bring it up at this point but I'm not real sure how I got here in the first place, and when you think about it you really have to go all the way back to school, and mom thought I should be a doctor and dad thought I should be an industrial wood lathe and I wanted to be the Cenozoic Era and we tried to work out a compromise but lookin back it was really the kinda situation where nobody was gonna end up really satisfied in the end and they say you should never look back but it's hard not to when you're bein chased by a rhinoceros and I'm sure there's a valuable life lesson here somewhere but I think it got eaten by the bear, and when this is over and the fire's put out and the cops're asleep in their cave under the sea we'll always have tomorrow, or the day after the day after the day after that.
Labels: true adventures
posted by fafnir at 6:40 PM
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