Wednesday, June 22, 2005
"Yknow Giblets I'm startin to think maybe there isn't a pirate treasure buried in our living room after all," says me.
"You talk crazy talk!" says Giblets. "Treasure is real and fabulous and just hours away from belonging to Giblets!"
"I dunno," says me. "I thought we'da found it under one a these floorboards if it was already here."
"Giblets can prove it with logic!" says Giblets. "The treasure must exist because the treasure map exists and the treasure map must exist because we can't find it and why wouldn't we be able to find it unless it was hidden by the very same pirates who hid the treasure in the first place!"
"I guess so," says me. "But why would the pirates bury the treasure under the throw rug in fronta the TV?"
"Because the pirates would hide treasure in the last place Giblets would expect," says Giblets, "and the last place Giblets would expect would be in his own house!"
"If I was a pirate I'd stick the treasure someplace we couldn't find it," says me. "Like the desert or the bus stop or the moon or a big mean dog."
"You're just showin your ignorance of pirate culture," says Giblets. "Giblets has studied and lived with the pirates and has come to appreciate their strange yet beautiful society."
"You never told me about your voyage into this elusive yet unforgettable world Giblets," says me.
"Well you never asked," says Giblets. "Pirate culture is a strict yet complex hierarchy built around the pirate captain, who is guarded and milked by his loyal retainers at all times," says Giblets.
"The captain emerges from the pirate nest once a year to lay his eggs," says me, "and to fight the robot king, the natural enemy of all pirates."
"When the pirate captain dies he is carried to the great river to be burned with his pirate ancestors," says Giblets. "A new captain is wrapped in gauze and heady spices and planted in the firm earth to begin anew."
"Pirate flowers and trees grow up from his vitamins and nutrients," says me. "Their pollen is carried around the world by wind an rain an electricity which is where mp3s come from."
"When the winter snow thaws the pirates will melt off the mountain and slide back into the ocean to repeat the cycle," says Giblets, "but this time in the form of sedimentary rock... the most dreadsome and terrible rock in all the seven seas!"
"The kinda rock that is feared and desired throughout the land," says me.
"Feared and desired like treasure!" says Giblets.
"Like pirate treasure," says me.
An we hitch up our peg legs an our shoulder birds an we dig.
Labels: true adventures
posted by fafnir at 3:34 PM